SEARCH THE SITE
    Blog Posts (6)
    • Shame

      If you ask me, I'm not a hard worker. I don't consider myself motivated, passionate, driven, or anything else of the sort. Nope. I'm lazy, incompetent, inept, unfocused. I'm too indecisive and lethargic to accomplish the things I need to. Even now, I have 9 tabs open for no reason other than to distract myself from studying. At the same time, I'm staring at my phone, waiting for it to buzz so I can attend to someone's message. I deleted all the games on my devices to help myself focus on the important things, but those have only been replaced by endless Tumblr voids and Instagram spirals. Definitely not the traits of a hard worker. For years, I told myself and was told by the people around me that I could do better if only I tried. If only I put in the energy, did the work, added the hours, used my brain, I could tap into my potential. Or at least that was the theory. The issue is, I'm lazy. I don't try hard enough. I don't do the work. I make everything last-minute. I procrastinate like my life depends on it. I have a hard time keeping up in school, and every parent-teacher meeting is a monotonous repetition of "she has the potential to do better". And I believe it too. Nothing I ever do is enough because I could have done more if I was neurotypical. And nothing I do can ever be enough for me because then I'll just be the complacent kid who uses ADHD as an excuse to slack off. So I tell myself to work harder only to wind up in a social media rabbit hole hours later. So what can I do but tell people I have ADHD and I'm trying to concentrate but it's hard to do that assignment when all my energy goes into getting myself to read the first question? But to that, I get "don't blame it on ADHD", or "it happens to everyone, get over it", or "just put away your phone and you'll be fine uwu". There's even the occasional sigh and "this was never an issue before?". But here's the thing: it was an issue before. But I never talked about it. Why? Simple. I was ashamed. Not just of my inattention, but of all the little things I do that I've only recently realized are caused by my ADHD. I zone out when people talk to me, and I have to actively remind myself to listen. I forget what people say right after they finish talking. When biology class isn't interesting enough I will internally go crazy if I don't find something more stimulating to do. I have to remind myself why I'm looking at my watch and why I entered these rooms and what I was supposed to be doing, but at the same time, I can remember that one fun fact about a movie I watched years ago, or hyperfocus on learning a script or writing for hours. I can't channel the energy I put into my interests into studying or tedious tasks because that's just not how my brain works. But for a long time, I didn't know that. I didn't realize that people could regulate their attention better than I could. I thought everyone was operating on the same level as me, and that I wasn't putting in as much effort as the rest. I would look at all these people in class quietly doing their work and I'd be amazed. Because I thought it took everyone else the same amount of effort and energy just to start working, I assumed I was less hardworking and dedicated than them. And I was ashamed because it was clearly just a weird character flaw that I never listen and never remember and can't concentrate. I'm just not trying like everyone else is. So yeah, I never talked about my symptoms before I found out I had ADHD for the simple reason that I thought everyone else had them too and I was the only one not overcoming these issues. I was too embarrassed to talk about how I lose focus during tests or why it takes me three hours to finish one worksheet because I thought things were that hard for everyone too. So I just told myself to try harder. And I shamed myself into attempting to concentrate and finish tasks as everyone else did. And when it didn't work, I would shame myself some more until all I could think about was how incompetent and incapable I was for not trying hard enough, even though I was probably trying harder than my neurotypical classmates just to get through half the work they could do. This is why I hate when people tell me to try harder or that if I put my mind to it I can focus. Because it doesn't work like that, and I've already wasted so much time on things like this that just don't work for me. When you tell someone with ADHD to try harder, you're not even recognizing the fact that they're already trying ten times as hard to do things a neurotypical person can do without much effort. And all you're doing is invalidating them for trying in the first place.

    • Shame

      If you ask me, I'm not a hard worker. I don't consider myself motivated, passionate, driven, or anything else of the sort. Nope. I'm lazy, incompetent, inept, unfocused. I'm too indecisive and lethargic to accomplish the things I need to. Even now, I have 9 tabs open for no reason other than to distract myself from studying. At the same time, I'm staring at my phone, waiting for it to buzz so I can attend to someone's message. I deleted all the games on my devices to help myself focus on the important things, but those have only been replaced by endless Tumblr voids and Instagram spirals. Definitely not the traits of a hard worker. For years, I told myself and was told by the people around me that I could do better if only I tried. If only I put in the energy, did the work, added the hours, used my brain, I could tap into my potential. Or at least that was the theory. The issue is, I'm lazy. I don't try hard enough. I don't do the work. I make everything last-minute. I procrastinate like my life depends on it. I have a hard time keeping up in school, and every parent-teacher meeting is a monotonous repetition of "she has the potential to do better". And I believe it too. Nothing I ever do is enough because I could have done more if I was neurotypical. And nothing I do can ever be enough for me because then I'll just be the complacent kid who uses ADHD as an excuse to slack off. So I tell myself to work harder only to wind up in a social media rabbit hole hours later. So what can I do but tell people I have ADHD and I'm trying to concentrate but it's hard to do that assignment when all my energy goes into getting myself to read the first question? But to that, I get "don't blame it on ADHD", or "it happens to everyone, get over it", or "just put away your phone and you'll be fine uwu". There's even the occasional sigh and "this was never an issue before?". But here's the thing: it was an issue before. But I never talked about it. Why? Simple. I was ashamed. Not just of my inattention, but of all the little things I do that I've only recently realized are caused by my ADHD. I zone out when people talk to me, and I have to actively remind myself to listen. I forget what people say right after they finish talking. When biology class isn't interesting enough I will internally go crazy if I don't find something more stimulating to do. I have to remind myself why I'm looking at my watch and why I entered these rooms and what I was supposed to be doing, but at the same time, I can remember that one fun fact about a movie I watched years ago, or hyperfocus on learning a script or writing for hours. I can't channel the energy I put into my interests into studying or tedious tasks because that's just not how my brain works. But for a long time, I didn't know that. I didn't realize that people could regulate their attention better than I could. I thought everyone was operating on the same level as me, and that I wasn't putting in as much effort as the rest. I would look at all these people in class quietly doing their work and I'd be amazed. Because I thought it took everyone else the same amount of effort and energy just to start working, I assumed I was less hardworking and dedicated than them. And I was ashamed because it was clearly just a weird character flaw that I never listen and never remember and can't concentrate. I'm just not trying like everyone else is. So yeah, I never talked about my symptoms before I found out I had ADHD for the simple reason that I thought everyone else had them too and I was the only one not overcoming these issues. I was too embarrassed to talk about how I lose focus during tests or why it takes me three hours to finish one worksheet because I thought things were that hard for everyone too. So I just told myself to try harder. And I shamed myself into attempting to concentrate and finish tasks as everyone else did. And when it didn't work, I would shame myself some more until all I could think about was how incompetent and incapable I was for not trying hard enough, even though I was probably trying harder than my neurotypical classmates just to get through half the work they could do. This is why I hate when people tell me to try harder or that if I put my mind to it I can focus. Because it doesn't work like that, and I've already wasted so much time on things like this that just don't work for me. When you tell someone with ADHD to try harder, you're not even recognizing the fact that they're already trying ten times as hard to do things a neurotypical person can do without much effort. And all you're doing is invalidating them for trying in the first place.

    • Emotional Dysregulation & Mental Health

      I used to think I had depression. And I had a good enough reason to believe so. I moved to a new school in the 8th grade with high hopes, only to get bullied the entire year, and was excluded by my friends throughout 9th and 10th grade. The 11th grade was better, but not by much. Nothing significantly sad was happening in my life, but I constantly felt heavy and depressed. I would micro-analyze everything people said to me and was convinced no one genuinely liked me. And always in the back of my mind, unacknowledged, was the thought of myself being a failure to everyone I know. Since I can remember, I've had trouble focusing on assignments, remembering basic instructions, and sticking to a schedule. My inability to complete tasks on time is an issue that's been consistently brought up in parent-teacher meetings since kindergarten, and my forgetfulness is so bad it was mortifying. I've always had a hard time completing timed tasks and focusing in classes. I didn't even realize this until fairly recently, but I have always thought of myself as a failure, as some sort of abnormal kid who couldn't pull her shit together even for her own sake. By the time I started the IBDP, I had all but given up trying to get good grades and was settling for whatever I could get. Then the pandemic arrived, school closed, and I had no motivation to do anything but scroll through social media all day in an attempt to get some dopamine in my system. And in the middle of April, I found out I had ADHD. I was diagnosed with ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) at age nine but found out about my diagnosis at 17. Here are the facts: ADD is an outdated term, and is a neuro-behavioral condition now referred to as ADHD - I, or predominantly inattentive ADHD. There are two other types of ADHD: predominantly hyperactive, and combined. The DSM-5 lists the symptoms as inattention, hyperactivity & impulsivity, and ADHD may be diagnosed if these symptoms are present before age 12, are not restricted to one setting (such as the home), interfere with the person's quality of work and functioning, and can not be explained by any other mental illness/disorder. Sounds correct, right? This is what most people (myself included) think of when they imagine a person with ADHD: someone who's constantly bouncing off the walls and unable to focus. However, that's not the whole picture. ADHD - I is often underdiagnosed because we do not bounce off the walls all the time, and have less of a hyperactive behavior presentation but more of an inattentive presentation, which is often mistaken for simple laziness. On top of this, the DSM-5's description of ADHD symptoms is incomplete and leaves out an important symptom of the condition: emotional dysregulation. From the early 1700s to the 1970s, emotional dysregulation was consistently included in descriptions of ADHD symptoms. However, after the 1970s it vanished from all formal ADHD symptom lists. Why? Scientists wanted to focus on quantifiable symptoms, or things they could measure. Since it's difficult to put a number to emotions, they just removed it from the list. Because of this, emotional dysregulation has never been a part of any of the DSMs. Even with an overwhelming amount of studies confirming that emotional dysregulation is as significant as the other three symptoms, it remains off the DSM-5. So what does this have to do with everything? Remember how I thought I had depression? Turns out my extreme emotions had a lot to do with the emotional dysregulation that comes with ADHD. Confused? It didn't make sense to me at first either. Emotional dysregulation is an easy term to misunderstand. Here's what it means. People with ADHD react to situations with the expected emotions. For example, reacting to an insult with anger, or to bullying with sadness. However, we have trouble regulating these emotions. What this means is the person reacting will tend to draw out their emotional reactions for much longer and often go down a spiral of rumination (dwelling on the same feelings for long periods of time). This can heighten sadness, stress, anxiety, etc, and their effect on mental health, and can also result in being labeled as "overly sensitive", "weak", or "depressed". It also means that small things people say or do can have bigger impacts on people with emotional dysregulation than most realize. The flip side to this that joy and excitement are amplified as well, making us fun people to be around when we get hyped up. So what does this all mean? One implication this can have on people with ADHD is their treatment. Lots of people don't know about this factor in the condition and opt for treatment relying solely on medication, or strategies aimed only at managing attention issues, neglecting to care for their mental health. This can also cause misunderstandings when people don't realize emotional dysregulation is just as big a symptom of ADHD as inattention and hyperactivity (like I did). And this brings me to the reason I set up this website. Firstly, I want to combat misinformation. Before I found out about my diagnosis, I only had an extremely ambiguous idea of what ADHD was. It was never taught in school, so I knew next to nothing about its causes, effects, or symptoms. I thought people with ADHD were just hyper and that was all there was to it. It took weeks of research (and weeding out the ADHD-is-a-pharma-scam articles) to gain even a basic understanding of what's up with my brain. On top of this, there's so much conflicting and false information on the web. I want to help educate both people with and without ADHD about what it is and why it should be taken seriously. I also want to connect with others, both neurotypical and neurodivergent, and create a platform for people to share their stories and experiences with mental health and neurological disorders. Finally, with this blog, I will continue to post articles about ADHD & mental health and hopefully, interview and post pieces by others as well. If you've made it to the end of this post, I have to congratulate you. As someone who gets distracted as easily as I do, I don't blame you if you skipped half the text. My posts will be much shorter and less monotonous in the future. I'm also looking for submissions on anything from mental health to stigmas to any disorder or condition you know of or have, so if you'd like to write a piece for the blog, hit up the contact page to let me know! If writing's not your thing, you can send me an email asking for an interview as well. Thank you so much for reading! TL;DR : I found out about my ADHD diagnosis pretty late, and when I tried to research it, I found heaps of untrustworthy resources and misinformation. I realized I had also misunderstood aspects of my own life because I didn't know enough about it. Because of this, I decided to research as much as I can and share the information on this blog as a way to educate others in the same situation as me and help spread understanding of what it's like to have ADHD.

    View All
    Pages (9)
    • mind bites | ADHD blog and forum

      WHAT IS MIND BITES? Mind bites is a blog and forum that discusses ADHD, neurodiversity, and mental health. This website was set up to tackle misinformation, spread awareness, answer questions, and create a community free of the stigma that surrounds mental health and neurological disorders. If you're new to the site, I recommend introducing yourself in the forum. It's a great place to connect with others and find friends. If you have any questions, submit them in the Q & A section of the forum. I'm also looking for writers or artists, so if you'd like to submit a piece for the blog, let me know in the contact page! About me Contact me WELCOME TO MIND BITES a blog about mental health and neurodiversity NEURODIVERSITY TOP BLOG POSTS The latest articles from the blog. See more FORUM Start a discussion or ask a question. Check it out GET UPDATES AND NEWS WRITE FOR THE BLOG!

    • About | mind bites

      ABOUT MIND BITES Hi, I'm Spoorti, the creator of this site! I'm 17 years old, and my pronouns are she/her. I enjoy acting, singing, drawing, and writing short stories. I was diagnosed with primarily Inattentive - type ADHD as a young child but only found out about my diagnosis this year. After knowing about my diagnosis, I did a lot of research to find out what exactly ADHD meant and how it had been affecting me. However, most of the resources and websites I found were either targeted towards parents & teachers or were full of heavy medical jargon that was hard to understand. There were hardly any resources for kids and teens. So on an impulse, I decided to start up a blog to share what I knew and learned about ADHD in the hopes that others would find the information helpful. The goal of this site is not just to shove statistics and bland research in your faces. I want to inform you, but also to talk about what it's like to have ADHD and hopefully interview people so you can read about the experiences, thoughts, and feelings of those with neurological disorders and mental health struggles. If you'd like to write a piece or talk about your experience, don't hesitate to hit up the contact page and let me know!

    • Resources | mind bites

      RESOURCES These are websites and sources that I've found to be useful in my research and which I think might help others as well. This list is a work in progress, so feel free to let me know if there's anything else you think I should add here. Email me Youtube channel HOW TO ADHD Run by Jessica McCabe, this channel has videos covering loads of topics related to ADHD, and with tons of animations and graphics so you don't get bored. Visit channel Blog ADULTING WITH ADHD This is a blog with short posts about adult ADHD and the author's personal experiences with it. Visit site Website ADDITUDE MAGAZINE This site has comprehensive articles on ADHD in kids, teens, and adults, as well as advice on coping strategies, medications and other treatments. Visit site Website HEALTHLINE This site covers all health topics, but their ADHD category has plenty of research-based and fact-checked articles on ADHD and treatments. Visit site Website CHADD CHADD, or Children and Adults with Attention Deficit/Hyperactive Disorder has a bi-monthly magazine and a site full of resources for people of all ages with ADHD. Visit site Website TOTALLY ADD Run by Rick Green, a stand-up comedian, this site has videos, quizzes and resources for adults with ADHD. Visit site

    View All